I've been trying to get things back to normal, caught up and running smoothly again.
Last week I devoted a ton of time to the kids, catching up on homework, nice meals, gymnastic training.. I'm glad I did that. The girls seem to be doing alright, Lily is less whiny and clingy, but still sticks close to me and the older girls had some sad / hard moments during the week, but much less and they are both able to openly talk about Mom with happy thoughts and memories, and not tears.
Like I keep saying.... One foot in front of the other...
This weekend I baked a pile of pies... I think 9 or 10 apple pies. I had left over apples from apple picking and they weren't going to last another week. As I mixed the fat into the flour I suddenly took to crying, as I instantly had a memory of mom holding my hands, teaching me how to cut the fat and flour together, then again as I rolled out my crust, always from the inside out, I felt her hands pressing on top of mine, holding the rolling pin. Sigh... I think those pies might have a little extra salt from my tears.
Has anyone read "Like Water for Chocolate'?
When she bakes as she is crying all her feelings go into the food, and as people eat at the feast, they experience her feelings? Well, hopefully people won't cry when they eat my pies! LOL I will admit however, that the crust was the best I've ever made, nice and light, tender, and flaky!
Thanks Mom.
1 comment:
It's a tough road, Krista. For me it was four months to the day that my sister passed. I think it was four months to the day and the exact minute, and I lost it. In the shower, bawling. I called mom and my other two sisters were visiting and we all had a nice chat/cry. I can't walk by her pictures in my house and not choke up still. Everytime. Lump in my throat, tears in my eyes. I guess I will for a long time. But it's nice to have those good memories...even if they make you cry too.
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